


A Cynical Psychoanalysis of Orihara Izaya

by TheGreyLady



Category: Durarara!!/デュラララ!!
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-25
Updated: 2010-10-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreyLady/pseuds/TheGreyLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: Why Izaya Likes Watching Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger Make Out, as Told by Yagiri Namie. Namie tells it like it is, and for Izaya, denial isn't just a river in Egypt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cynical Psychoanalysis of Orihara Izaya

"A Cynical Psychoanalysis of Orihara Izaya, or Why Izaya Likes Watching Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger Make Out, as Told by Yagiri Namie"

"Jaaaaack," Izaya moaned, shoving another handful of popcorn in his mouth. "Why, why did you have to die? You were supposed to live happily ever after with Ennis~!"

"Would you _shut up,"_ Namie grumbled from her desk. "I'm trying to work."

" _Namie-san,_ " Izaya huffed, " _please_ do not interrupt me when I am watching a movie! Can you not see that this is the most tragic film _ever created_?"

" _You_ only like it," Namie snapped, "because it reminds you of your relationship with that Heiwajima."

Izaya stared. "What?"

"Well, think about it. You even _look_ like the actors, if you ignore the racial differences. Jack comes from a more educated, affluent background than Ennis. Plus he's a hell of a lot more flaming. Have you ever looked at that coat of yours? And Ennis has violent tendencies. The only real difference is that they weren't as utterly in denial as you two are."

"…Namie-san, go home. I think you need to rest. Obviously you're suffering delusions."

Namie stood and gathered her things. "If the back-alley sex hasn't proven to you that at the very least you enjoy his cock—"

"Enjoying his cock has _little_ to do with wanting anything to do with him _personally_ , Namie-san. I have no inclination to have a romantic relationship with that protozoan. The very thought makes me shudder."

"Right, sure. You've only gone out of your way to push his buttons for the last however many years because you don't want anything to do with him. Makes sense." She headed for the door. "Next time he fucks you, ask for a goodnight kiss and see what happens."

Izaya did just that two days later, after a round of the aforementioned back-alley sex. Shizuo punched him in the face.

As he walked away, Izaya blinked.

"Interesting. Namie-san was right." He pulled a face. "For once."


End file.
